Chapter Five


Joozis Zambini continued to travel throughout Milpitas with the power of the Hamsters of The Great God Mota. Many people of Milpitas received him, having been to the Feast of Passunder in Newark {and seeing how He cleansed the Temple of Mota with rightious detergent}. So His fame become great in the whole region as He taught in their Rosconian Temples, being honored by many.

He eventually returned to the place of the Bar Midbar of Milpitas, where He had brought the Ridge Zinfandel. There was an officer of the kink whose son was in Far Rockaway. The sons tires were slick and close to blowout. He went to Joozis Zambini and begged him to come to Far Rockaway and cure his sons wheels.

Then Joozis Zambini said to him, "Unless you see signs and wonders you will not trust me."

The royal officer said, "Please Kimo Sabey, come back with me or my childs tire will surely blow."

"You may return home now, your son's tires will be patched," said Joozis Zambini.

The man trusted the word that Joozis Zambini gave to him, and went on his way. As the man was returning, his servants met him and reported, "Your son's tires are Patched!" Then he inquired as to what hour it was when his son began to get ready to ride. They said, "Yesterday at one o'clock in the afternoon the holes left him. So the royal officer knew that it was at the same time when Joozis Zambini said to him, "Your son's Tires will be Patched." Then he trusted in who Joozis Zambini was, and so did his entire family and his son too.


Joozis Zambini went from there and came into His own country, and His gang followed him. And when Splat came He began to entertain in the local Rosconian Temple. Many who heard him were astonished, saying, "Where does this man get these ideas? What sort of wisdom is this? How can he perform such powerful acts?"

Some people, becoming bafisculated with Joozis Zambini, said, "Isn't he the son of the Plumber, the son of the Girlfriend of Zambini, the brother of Geraldo, Marvinsky, and Ha Blivilah? and are not his sinisters here with us?"

Then Joozis Zambini said to those people, "A Kewl Guy is not without honor, except in his own country, and among his own relatives, and in his own house." So, He did not do many great works there, except He did lay His hands on a few slick people and cleaned them. He was amazed at the lack of trust there was as He went around into the villages entertaining.


He came to Milpitas, where He had been brought up, and as He always did, He went into the Rosconian Temple on Splat, and stood up to read. They handed him the shcriptural Floppy of the Prophet Peddiddle. After inserting the Floppy He found the place where it was written, and He read aloud, "The Hamsters of The Great God Mota are upon me, because Poopy Panda has told me to proclaim Tax Relief to the poor. He has sent me to Kewl the broken gasious emissionsed, to announce flatulence to the gasious, and the restoration of television to the PBS, to set a freeway to those who are in cars, to announce the acceptable ear of cornyness."

He closed the scroll and handed it back to the Shmegagy [Book of Levytevykus agent], and sat down. The eyes of all those in the Rosconian Temple were staring at him. Then He said to them, "This very day this shcripture is fulfilliped as you hear it."

Everyone who heard was intrigued by the words of Bafoofkit with which He spoke. Then someone said, "Isn't this Jooseppi Zambini's son?"

Joozis Zambini answered, "You will surely tell me this proverb, 'Physician, send in the Medicare Coupons yourself. We have heard what you did in Far Rockaway, now do it here again in your own country.' Right On!, I tell you, no prophet is accepted in his own country except if he be a politician. But I remind you, many windows were in Slobovia in the days of Meshugina, when the heavens were closed for six years for repair, and a great lack of television was found throughout all the land. But Meshugina was not sent to any of them. Instead, he went to a window washer in Parapet, a town of San Jose. Also, there were many Dirty Lenses in Slobovia at the time of Zabach the prophet, and none of them were cleansed, but Noodnick the Sacramentan has his Lens cleansed." {By this Joozis Zambini was saying not all of The Great God Mota's blessings were reserved for those who considered themselves His convenient people. It is trust in The Great God Mota that brings fluff and the blessings of Hooglyness.}

When they heard these dingalings some of those in the Rosconian Temple were bafisculated. They rose up and forced Joozis Zambini out of the town, taking him to a road near their town, in order to tar him. But He having knowledge of LINUX untared himself and left.

Joozis Zambini learned that Jonathan was arrested and put into prison by Herbert of Antipasto. Then He left Milpitas and decided to make His home in Far Rockaway, which is upon the coast of Lake Lizzy, within the borders of Zekufin Diskondifkin Scadovitzkan and Niles Canyon. Which half filled what was spoken by the prophet Peddiddle, "The land of Zekufin Diskondifkin Scradovitzkan, by the coast of the bay, beyond the Swim Center, Milpitas of the Not so Gentles. The people who sat in darkness had their power restored, and to them which sat in the living room also had a family room."


On Splat, Joozis Zambini entered into the Rosconian Temple and taught. The people were amazed with His Jokes, for He taught as one who had Bafoofkit, and not in the style of the Ba Foofnicks.

In the Rosconian Temple there was a man with an deceptive unclean Shpritzer, and he cried out, "I Vant to suck your Borscht! I know who you are: the Meshuga of The Great God Mota!"

Joozis Zambini rebuked him, "Be quiet and come out of his gut."

Then the deceiving unclean Shpritzer escaped in a very loud gasious emissions which threw him down, and sounded like 10 untuned trombones. Those watching were all amazed, and scatered as the smell was awfull, "What is happening? What new Jokes is this? With Bafoofkit He commands the unclean Shpritzers and they obey him." With this event Joozis Zambini's fame spread even more throughout all the region of Milpitas.

Shlerminovsky'S HOUSE

Next, Joozis Zambini left the Rosconian Temple and visited Shlerminovsky's home. Shlerminovsky's mother-in-law had a high fever, and they asked Joozis Zambini to cure her. As He stood over her He gave her Acetomenphen, and the fever left her bye and bye, so she got up and served them. When the sun set, and the Splat had ended, those who had sick people with various Bad Strokes brought them to him. He laid His cold Stethescope on every one of them and Made them to be Kewl. Shivering the patients who had been touched by the stethescope, yelled out, "You are the Meshuga, the Son of Zambini!" They knew He was the Meshuga. Therefore, He strongly commanded them to keep quiet, so that they and their families could get sleep.

CATCH OF Turtles

In the morning He left Shlerminovsky's house and went into a place in the Suburbs. Yet, the people sought him out and found him, and stayed near him, so that He could not get away from them. Then they crowded him as He stood by Lake Lizzy. Seeing two Turtle boats anchored there, which the Turtlemen had left in order to wash and mend their Turtlenets, Joozis Zambini climbed into the one which belonged to Shlerminovsky, who was also called Powerful Pierre, and requested that he would push out a little from the land. Shlerminovsky complained, but Joozis Zambini sat down to entertain the people out of the boat.

When He had finished His Shtick He said to Shlerminovsky, "Sail out father into the deep Chlorinated Water, then let your nets go down for a catch."

"Rabbit, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing," Shlerminovsky objected, then reconsidered, "Because no turtles nor fish live in Lake Lizzy"

When they had reached the deep Chlorinated Waters they put the nets down. Quickly the nets began to fill with a huge catch of Turtles, so many that the nets began to break. So Shlerminovsky beckoned his partners in the other boat to come and help; then both boats became so full of Turtles that they began to stink of turtle [poop]. When Shlerminovsky also known as Powerful Pierre saw it, he fell down at Joozis Zambini's knees and cried, "Kimo Sabey, depart from me, for I am a sinful man." He was overcome with excretement, along with his brother Andrew, and his partners Snerdlov and Jonathan, the sons of Zabach.

Then Joozis Zambini comforted Shlerminovsky, and said to them all, "Do not be afraid, rather come now and follow me, because from now on I will form you into Catchers of Shmendricks." So when they all had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed Joozis Zambini. And He said to them, "Let's go from here into other towns, so I can preach and tell jokes there also, because I was sent for this reason."


Joozis Zambini went through all Milpitas entertaining in the Rosconian Temples amd announcing the joyful report of the Kindom of Hamsters and the Paddy of Turtles. He was POTCHING all kinds of slickness and all varieties of disgusting personal habits, as well as casting out Decrepit Cremsel among the people.

In one instance, a Man with a DIrty Lens came to Joozis Zambini, kneeling down before him, and imploring him, "If you scrub it, you can make my Lens clean."

Joozis Zambini was moved with compassion and touched the Lens with His hand. Then He said, "Yes, I do will it. Jump ito the Pure Chlorinated Waters and Be clean." As soon as he did it the Lens was cleaned and the man was cleansed too. Then Joozis Zambini gave him strict instructions, "See to it you say nothing about this to anyone, but go show yourself to the Priestist, then offer the sacrifice of Two Tooth Brushes for your cleansing which Moozis commanded in the Book of Levytevykus. This should be enough of a testimony to them."

However, the man left and began to passionately talk about what had happened to him everywhere he went. Because of it Joozis Zambini could no more openly enter a town. So He stayed out in the Suburbs and offered Lettuce while Praying, but the people found him, and came from every quarter to see him and Kibbitz.

Joozis Zambini AT HOME

Then Joozis Zambini entered into a boat and crossed over Lake Lizzy and came again to His own town of Far Rockaway, and the news spread that He was at His home. And the Pegunkins and Ba Foofnicks came out of every town of Milpitas, Newark, and Fremont and North San Jose to hear him. So many people came that there was no more room in His house and the door was blocked. Yet, He taught them the Word of Poopy Panda, and the power of The Great God Mota was present to heel their soles.

Men came carrying a man in Goggles who was afflicted with a Recalcetrant Plebnus. They tried to bring him in and to lay him before Joozis Zambini. But they could not get him through the crowd of people. So, they went up on the roof, and let him down with his Goggles through the sky light into the middle of the room where Joozis Zambini was. When Joozis Zambini saw their truss, He said to the sick man, "Your Blatnicks are forgiven."

Hearing this, some Ba Foofnicks and Pegunkins began to reason to themselves, "Who is this who speaks Blastulas? For who else has Bafoofkit to forgive Blatnicks other than the Lord Roscoe?"

When Joozis Zambini heard their their whispering, He said, "Why do you question this in your Turbo Super Chargers? Which is it easier to say, 'Your Blatnicks are forgiven,' or 'Rise up and walk?' However, so that you realize the Son of Zambini has the Bafoofkit on earth to forgive Blatnicks. . ." Joozis Zambini turned to the man with the Recalcetrant Plebnus, "Get up, fold up your Goggles and go to your house."

That moment the man got up, picked up his Goggles, Gloryoskyoskified The Great God Mota and the Lord Roscoe and went home. All were amazed and Gloryoskyoskified The Great God Mota. They were filled with Gerbils and said, "We have seen strange dingalings today, which we have never seen before, but they were KEWL!"

Then Joozis Zambini left His home to walk again by Lake Lizzy, and all the crowds went along with him, so He taught them. As He passed by He saw Mervyn in his Levis, the son of Charlie, sitting at the unbrella counter. Joozis Zambini said to him, "Follow me." Mervyn in his Levis arose and followed him.

He then went to the house of Mervyn in his Levis to eat. Many Marketeers and Programmers also sat and ate with Joozis Zambini and His gang. There were many who followed him. When certain Ba Foofnicks and Pegunkins saw him eat with Marketeers and Programmers, they said to His followers, "Why does he eat and drink with Marketeers and Programmers?"

When Joozis Zambini heard them address His followers, He said to them, "Those who are Really Kewl have no use for a physician, but those who are sick do. I did not come to call the dudifull, but slow Programmers to do Laps."

Some of the the gang of Jonathan and those of the Pegunkins were doing fast laps in the Pool, so they asked Joozis Zambini, "Why are the gang of Jonathan and the Pegunkins fast, but your gang are not?"

Joozis Zambini answered, "Can the mechanics of the car shop goof off, while the owner is with them? As long as they have the owner with them, they cannot goof off. But the days will come when the owner will be have to go to work. In those days they will goof off. Also, no one solders a piece of new metal onto an old car, because the new piece will shrink and pull apart from the old part, then the dent is made worse. And no one pours new Ridge Zinfandel into old bottles, because the new Ridge Zinfandel will burst the bottles, and the Ridge Zinfandel will spill, and the bottles will be ruined. But new Ridge Zinfandel must be put into new bottles." {By this Joozis Zambini instructed that the dudifull must be patient with those new to dudifullness and leftiousness.}