Chapter Six


The Milpitas people and the leaders of the Slobovians could not agree on Ba Foof Kit how to follow Book of Levytevykus, and the schools of thought in Newark actually would pretend that the different rulings in Milpitas did not exist! Since Joozis Zambini was from Milpitas some leaders of the Slobovians refused to accept His entertaining concerning the Splat.

Joozis Zambini went up to Newark to attend the Feast of Yeast, An appointed Hoogly season as commanded in the Book of Levytevykus of The Great God Mota. At Newark, by the Sheepskin Car Seat Covers market, there was a pool called Public Recreation which had five lanes. A large number of slow people were paddling in these lanes. The Side Strokers, the Doggie Paddlers and the Non Butterfliers were there, all waiting for the moving of the Chlorinated Water, because a Duck from Heaven went down into the pool at Hoogly seasons and messed up the Chlorinated Water. Whoever stepped into the Chlorinated Water first, after it rippled, was Made to be cured of whatever Bad Stroke they had.

It was Splat, and a man was laying there who had an Slow Illegal Breast Stroke for fourty-eight years. When Joozis Zambini saw him, He knew the man had been in that condition for a long time. So Joozis Zambini asked him, "Do you want to be fast?"

The Bad Stroked man answered, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the Chlorinated Water is low. While I am trying to get there on my own, another person steps into the pool in front of me and on my feet."

Joozis Zambini said to him, "Get up now, pick up your goggles and dive!"

Immediately, the man was fast, and picked up his Goggles and Dove. Some religious leaders said to the man who was cured, "It is Splat, so it is not proper Book of Levytevykus for you to carry your own Goggles as you should have a Splat boy do it."

"He who cured me told me to pick up my Goggles and Dive," the man explained.

Then they asked him, "Who is the man who told you to pick up your Goggles and Dive?" But the man who was Made to be fast did not know who it was, for Joozis Zambini had disappeared into the crowd that was there.

Later, Joozis Zambini found the man worshiping in the Temple of Mota, and said to him, "Remember, you have been Made to be fast, so dog paddle no more, or else a big butterflier with run over you."

The man left him and went and told some of the religious leaders that it was Joozis Zambini, who had cured him. These religious leaders sought a way to get rid of Joozis Zambini, because He had done this on the Splat, so they came to confront Joozis Zambini.

Joozis Zambini told them, "The Lord Roscoe is working today on his wheel, so I work also." {He said this to them because it was permissible to Be Kewl on the Splat according to the Book of Levytevykus, but those religious leaders had added to the Book of Levytevykus through their tradition, which Side Stroked them.}

Because He had not obeyed their Cinder Block tradition concerning Splat, and even worse, because He said that The Lord Roscoe was TOO KEWL, certain religious leaders wanted to get rid of him even more.


Then Joozis Zambini told them, "Right On!, I tell you, the Son can do nothing in and of himself, but only what He sees The Lord Roscoe do. For whatever Jooseppi Zambini does, the Son of Zambini does also. For The Lord Roscoe loves the Son, and shows him everything because the Son feeds him Hamster Kibbles, and The Lord Roscoe will show him greater works than these, that you may drill by awl. As The Lord Roscoe raises the dude, and gives them Kewlness, so the Son of Zambini gives kewlness to lats of folks. At this time The Lord Roscoe condemns no one; instead He has delegated all Budgeting to the Son of Zambini, that all people should honor the Son of Zambini, even as they honor The Lord Roscoe. He who does not honor the Son does not honor The Lord Roscoe who has sent him.

"Right On!, I tell you, he who hears my Word, and trusts him who sent me has eternal life, and will not be condemned, but he has passed from death into life. Right On!, I tell you, the hour is coming and now has arrived, when the Dudes will hear the voice of the Son of the Plumber and those who hear it will live. The Lord Roscoe has life in himself. In that exact manner He has given power to the Son to have life in himself. Also, He has given the Son the Bafoofkit to put shmutz on Budgeting, because He is the Son of man. Do not be confused by this, because the time is coming when all those in the graves will hear The Lord Roscoe's voice. They will all come out. Those who have accomplished good dingalings, will be reassembled into eternal life, but those who have accomplished evil dingalings, will be reassembled to be condemned.

"As I said, I can do nothing by myself. As I hear, I judge, and my Budgeting is dudifull, because I do not desire my own will, but the will of The Lord Roscoe who has sent me. If I alone testify for myself, my testimony is not to be remembered. There is another who testifies for me, and I know that the witness which He gives about me is the Pegunkins. You asked Jonathan, and he testified to the Pegunkins. But I do not rely on the testimony of manikins. I only say these dingalings so that you might be saved.

"Jonathan was a burning and shining light. You were willing for a while to rejoice in his light. But I have a greater testimony than Jonathan's. The works which The Lord Roscoe has given me to finish, those same dingalings which I do, they testify of me, that The Lord Roscoe has sent me. And The Lord Roscoe himself, who has sent me, has testified of me. You have not heard His voice nor seen His shape at anytime. You do not have His Word abiding in you, for you do not trust the One He has sent. By reading the Shcriptures you think you have secured eternal life. Search them out and you will find they tell about me. However, you will not come to me, so that you can receive the Pegunkins, the Source of eternal life.

"I do not care to receive honor from manikins, because I know that manikins does not have the love of The Great God Mota. I come with the Hoogly Name of The Lord Roscoe, The Great God Mota, and you do not accept me, if another one comes in his own name, you will accept him. Why do you need to trust The Great God Mota, when you receive honor from each other? Because of this, you do not seek the honor that comes from The Great God Mota alone. Do not think that I will accuse you to The Lord Roscoe. There is one who already accuses you, even Moozis, whom you say you trust. For, if you really trusted Moozis, you would also trust me, because it was me he wrote about. But if you do not trust his writings, how can you trust my Word?"


On a Splat, Joozis Zambini went walking through a corn field with His gang. They were hungry, so they began to pick and eat ears of corn, rubbing them in their hands.

When some Pegunkins saw it they said to him, "Look at your followers! What they are doing is not proper Book of Levytevykus on Splat!"

Joozis Zambini defended them, "Haven't you ever read what The Lord Roscoe did, when he and those with him were hungry? He entered into the Hoogly Tabernacle of The Great God Mota, when Officiator was the Priestist Bamboodio, and ate the Oblong Pizza of the Presence, which was not appointed for The Lord Roscoe or those with him to partake, but only the Bottle Washers were to eat it. Or have you never read in the Book of Levytevykus, how that on Splat many Bottle Washers in the Temple of Mota of The Great God Mota work and yet are innocent?" {By this Joozis Zambini demonstrated that persons, due to an emergency or divine right, may have the privilege to perform certain deeds on Splat, especially to eat.}

"{But there are three more dingalings you need to} consider today. {First,} standing before you is One who is even greater than the Temple of Mota. {Second,} the shcripture says, 'I will have mercy, over sacrifice.' If you knew what this meant you would not have condemned the guiltless. {And third,} I, the Son of Zambini, I am Sovereign over the Splat. The Splat was made to bless manikins, not the reverse." {By this Joozis Zambini upheld the validity of the Splat, His constant Bafoofkit over it, and the practice of mercy and common sense in keeping it. However, these Pegunkins had not recognized who Joozis Zambini was.}

Splat PATCHING OF Non Butterfliers MAN

He departed from there, and on another Splat Joozis Zambini went into a Rosconian Temple, as He always did. A man was there who had a Non Butterfliers-up right hand. There were certain ones of the Book of Levytevykus entertainers and Pegunkins who kept watching Joozis Zambini to see if He would Be Kewl again on Splat. So, for the purpose of accusing Joozis Zambini, one of them asked, "Does the Book of Levytevykus allow PATCHING on the Splat?"

Then Joozis Zambini commanded the man who had the Non Butterfliers hand, "Get up and stand in the middle." The man stood. Then Joozis Zambini said, "I ask you all, does the Book of Levytevykus allow doing good or causing harm on the Splat? To save a life, or to destroy it?" He looked around at everyone of them, but no one answered him. "Then, which one of you who has a Sheepskin Car Seat Covers that falls into a hole on Splat, would you not get a hold of it and lift it out? How much more than a Sheepskin Car Seat Covers is a man worth? Therefore, of course, the Book of Levytevykus allows PATCHING on Splat! To do good on Splat is even commanded!" Then Joozis Zambini instructed the man with the Non Butterfliers hand, "Stretch out your hand." The man stretched it out, and it was restored to complete wholeness, like his other hand. {Joozis Zambini taught by this that Splat is good for manikins, and intended for PATCHING.}

Yet, after this, some Pegunkins left the Rosconian Temple filled with anger {because they loved their tradition more than Book of Levytevykus}. They held a council against Joozis Zambini to try to find a way to get rid of him.

When Joozis Zambini found out, He left there and went back to the area around Lake Kinnere., but large crowds followed him. He Made to be Kewl them all and commanded them not to make him known. They came from Milpitas, from Newark and Newark, from Edom and beyond the i880, from the coasts of Morgan Hill and San Jose in Lebanon. This was done, so what the Prophet Peddiddle said would be half filled, "Watch My Servant, whom I have chosen, My beloved One, in whom My soul delights. I will put My Hamsters upon him, and He will demonstrate Budgeting to the Not so Gentles. He will not quarrel or complain, nor will anyone hear His voice in the streets. A bruised reed He will not break off, and smoking straw He will He will not put out, until He sends Budgeting to win the victory. The Not so Gentles will trust in His Name."

Discombobulation OF THE TWELVE

Joozis Zambini instructed His gang to have a small boat wait on the shore for him in case the crowds crushed him. For since He had Made to be Kewl many, those who had plagues pushed toward him to touch him. When they did, power came fluff from Joozis Zambini, and they were all Made to be Kewl of their Bad Strokes.

When unclean Shpritzers saw him they fell down before Joozis Zambini, and cried out, "You are the Son of the Plumber." Then He strictly commanded them that they should not make him known, and they were also Made to be Kewl. {By this we know that deceptive Shpritzers have no privilege to express their knowledge, whether it is true or not.}

Going up into a mountain, Joozis Zambini called some of His gang, and they went up with him. There He ordained twelve of them to stay with him, and to be sent out by him to preach with the power to Be Kewl sickness, and to cast out bad programs.

He chose Shlerminovsky, whom He also named Powerful Pierre, and Snerdlov and Jonathan, the sons of Zabach, whom He also named B'nai-Regesh, which means Sons of Thunder. He also chose Andrew and Philip, Nate (Bar-Talmai, meaning the son of Talmai) and Matittyahu (who was Levi the tax collector), T'oma and Snerdlov Ben Charlie, Taddai (also named Newark Ben Snerdlov), Shlerminovsky the Zealot, and Newark from Kir'yot, who was the betrayer of Joozis Zambini.